Rebirth: The Child of Ice
by Sombereyes
Summary: Natsuki's strange dreams have been preparing her for her new life after the carnival. Now, in a romantic relationship with Shizuru, all has fallen into place, except one final piece..and one night, after she wakes up, she finds out exactly what that piece is, and what it will promise for her future. Natsuki centric, with a little bit of Shizuru... one shot for now...


A/N: On the record...this is a totally and completely bad idea spurred on by a Mai HiME drinking game that got taken to an analytical level. We were talking about the child's where they came from...all that fun happy jazz...and then Shannon and I were talking about how Natsuki seems to have a very different bond with Duran...about how even when he's gone, and she can't make him come out from hiding, it hurts her...So, because of that, we figured she may actually miss him after the battle...

And if (This is a very large IF and the only real basis for the idea, by the way) she missed him, what would he do about it? So, I decided to take the idea further...call this a beta test for a really "wtf" idea in fan fiction, and let me know what you think...inquiring minds want to know...Because after Shannon and I have completed "Edge of Loneliness" we might actually take this idea, and really run with it...

For now, this is just a questionable one shot at best...

Clearly, don't own Mai HiME.

**Rebirth: Child of Ice**  
(Natsuki POV)

Things have been weird recently...

I'd been having dreams for the past several months...horrifying, gut wrenching dreams...ones I remember vividly when I wake up. I've been ill sometimes or really emotional others...I've been out of sorts...just completely. Whenever I wake up from one of these dreams, I find myself getting dressed, and going on a short, but meaningful adventure into my past...There are some rare occasions when I'm almost giddy about it.

Especially recently...the Childs that HiME used during the carnival are sealed away...and they each have their own spot, they wait there...waiting for the next fight...but, in our case, I don't know...in my case, I feel something weird. Unsettled feeling..as if my personal journey isn't done yet. As if, I merely closed a chapter, and not the entire book. All of the other HiME are happy to move on...but I feel like I can't run ahead into my future...I feel like if I do, I may leave something really important behind.

They say that the passage of time is a strange thing, but so are the HiME in general.

We fight, every three hundred years...apparently, without fail. If you were to ask Midori her thoughts on that, she has historical background to back up her theories. If you ask Mai, who saw all of the events into completion, her thoughts are purely emotional. Mikoto just shrugs, or makes a simplistic comment...and if you were to ask Shizuru...she would come up with something meaningful...perhaps even, spiritual...deep, thought provoking in many ways...if you ask me, normally, I'm just glad we survived...and then I leave it at that.

There are times though, that I find myself wondering about one thing...one very seemingly unimportant thing...it means the world to me.

How is Duran?

I remember saying goodbye to him. I cried...that big lug of metal that always came to me when I called him, he was more than that. He was more than simply his title. He was, a lot like me. Sometimes, he would come running at a full sprint, others, he would blow you off and trot along, taking his dear sweet time...but he always came home...eventually. Duran was always like that...perhaps that's because I'm the same way...but...I've always wondered one question...

If Duran really was an extension of myself, and of my feelings...if he was a compatible match...was he that upset too? Was he in tears someplace within his soul? I don't know...I'd like to think that he was, that he cared about me just as deeply...because our bond never severed completely.

In my dreams I run along side him as he travels through the land of Fuka...often times at speeds that would make my bike wheels squeal. Sometimes, I'm fighting along side him in a memory...or other times we just sit and talk. I know it's him...and that my mind isn't fabricating it. When I wake up, I can remember everything we talked about...our conversations are real...recently though, I've lost contact with him...it happened a while back, actually...after one really deep talk of ours...

I think that's the unsettled feeling. It's like he's calling me, asking not to go anywhere just yet...but, I can't hear his howl, so I can't be sure.

In my dreams, we go to this place when we just talk. It's dark, and there's nothing around us. We just sit in this...blackness...a shadow. I wish I knew how to explain it better than that, but I don't. There's nothing there, and our voices don't seem to echo. There's nothing above me, or below me...nothing to the sides...just Duran...or rather his spirit. Sometimes I can see him, and others I can't. Either way, whenever we talk, his low rumbling voice, a richness filled with wisdom beyond comprehension comes out...that's just how Duran is.

I keep waiting to go back to that dark place, but I never do.

A bond will eventuality become weak between a HiME, and the spirit they fight along side. I hated it really, having had such a disconnect between us. Duran used to stay by my side all the time...mostly...even when people couldn't see him, I could hear him...my dream...the one that woke me up tonight, was the same conversation we shared before our bond continually began to grow weaker and weaker.

"_It sucks that I can only see you like this..."_

"_Why's that?"_

_"Because when I wake up, I can't remember how you look anymore..."_

"_My spirit comes in more forms than just one."_

"_My dog, my robot...how many forms do you have?"_

"_Many incarnations. Several thousands of years worth. Some are human, some are that of a dog, or wolf...I take the form that fits with my master. It was you I chose, so, I chose a form that would suit you...it was my desire, that I would become yours."_

"_So, what? You could turn yourself into something weird, if you wanted?"_

"_The power doesn't work that way, you know that. I won't be able to choose a HiME as a master, if I can't find a place to reside within their soul. So, if I found the idea unnatural, I wouldn't be able to change in the first place."_

"_Doesn't showing up in my dreams seem just a bit unnatural to you?"_

"_You wish it, and, so do I."_

"_Then why not just become a dog, and stay with me."_

"_There is only one way I can form a bond with you in the human world."_

"_So, why don't you?"_

"_I could...but it would take time Natsuki...and once I have done it, I can't come back here until after you have passed on...our life force would be shared again, in an entirely new way...the HiME power is a much more fluid thing, but the rules that govern it, lets just say it gets complicated."_

I left it at that...but I did think about it...about what he said. Still, I couldn't hear his howl as well when I slept...and over time, he began to visit me less and less often...I owe Duran everything, you know...Even as I ride my bike into my past, going to a spot fondly held within the pit of my memory, I must also reconnect the dots of everything...all that he helped me to accomplish.

It was with his help, I graduated senior year without anything terrible happening...and while Shizuru spent her time in university...I spent my time taking a much needed break. I began to really think about my life, and the people in it...I became closer with Shizuru because of it. We began feeling out our relationship during that peaceful year...I never told her about how my dreams made me feel weird when I woke up...but Duran would talk me through things...some of the feelings I couldn't share with anyone else...not even Shizuru.

He told me the way to get rid of the illness, was to prepare myself to become ready...for what he didn't say. He at great length, dove deep into my confused, and warring heart. He told me, that if I was ever to become ready, for whatever trial he seemed to know was coming at me, I would need Shizuru. He told me that not only can the event not happen without her, it can't even exist without coming to terms with my feelings. After he said that, I gradually began to take notice of things...things he and I would reflect on.

Then, I realized how much I missed out on Shizuru, and determined not to make the same mistake again, we began to slowly, but actively pursue a relationship between us.

I needed that upcoming year to focus on her...repairing the damage I'd done...getting her to understand that I did care about her, and that feeling was slowly turning into love. She became my only priority that year as lived off of my savings fund. I wanted her to realize how important she was to me...I wanted to tie up the loose ends of the carnival...find out why we did the things we did...why we let ourselves get so out of control. I devoted every bit of my time to see that she was well taken care of, that I was there as often as I could be, to make sure she understood without any doubts, my intentions to be with her...to be the best lover I could be for her.

Putting my life on hold was well worth it...it was someplace during that time, that I lost contact with Duran completely.

Shizuru and I don't live together yet, but we both agree I should just pack up the things in my apartment and stay with her. It makes sense...she'll be starting her third year of university soon, and I'll be going into my first year. I'm an undeclared major right now... I just wanna get some basic classes out of the way, and figure out what I really want to do.

That's what I wanted to do... get a good nights sleep tonight, so that tomorrow I can go over the books that came in the mail. But...I can't sleep...the dreams are starting to act odd again...telling me I can't keep laying in bed...that's why I'm doing what I'm doing...parking my bike in some bushes where it'll be well hidden.

I go to the spot where I called Duran all those years ago. I was one of the oldest HiME...I was one of the ones fighting the longest. Duran and I, our bond was incredibly strong...but Duran was my friend...the other HiME were happy to let go of it, but I miss Duran...and I wasn't happy to let go of him...when I first lost contact, and I came to this spot, a large chunk of ice was in Duran's summoning place. Now, that was odd, but, it explained why I couldn't get a hold of him. The ice was blocking our connection...how, or why..I'm not sure.

Over time, the ice began to melt, and I've been keeping an eye on it. Slowly it has become slush...and something within me, realizes Duran needs me. I don't know why I know that...I didn't hear a howl...I haven't heard him howl in well over nine months...

Nine months and a week, to be exact.

Is it bad that I've been counting the days?

So, I begin to dig. This ice isn't like my ice... My ice doesn't melt, it shatters normally. My fingers feel like they're going to freeze off if I keep digging in this slush. It's so pristine and clean...perfect, the little crystals remind me of the times I used to be able to get inside of this ice. The big bolder of it, the large, sharp crystal, it acted as a barrier. I could go in, and, Duran could come out... however, Duran could not pass into my world, and I could not pass into his without it... I never went to his world, it always seemed to close up when I summoned him...I'm not sure how it works, but I do know, if Duran is in this mess, and like I feel that he is...

Then, he's in distress...he can't stay in there. So he's gotta come out.

My fingers reach a pelt of fur, but when I tug gently on it, I realize that this not him...and I continue to dig, with more speed than before...I'm getting closer to him...finally, I reach the core...a hard chunk of solid ice I can't break away... the pelt is wrapped around it, trying to keep the ice from melting, but inside that ice...what was there...it wasn't a dog...

It was a baby...an infant. Sleeping peacefully, cased in ice, well protected. It's a boy...a baby boy with silver tufts of hair...ten fingers...ten little toes...a perfect little baby boy...I know who it is...I can feel it, the pull of a howl in the distance. It's Duran...my Duran...as a human.

I have so many questions as my fingers seem to melt the chunk of ice...as if any power in my body left from the events of the battle, had been made and stored purely for this. I can feel a transfer that I don't have an answer for, and even in my horrific realization, I don't pull away. My body's changing, that ice, it's the catalyst of something far greater. As the ice melts around him, I can feel powers of materialization in an entirely new way. I'm a special type of human, I can create what I need, right when I need it...but, there are limits to this power...I can't do it on my own.

Whatever my power tells me I need something, be it guns, quick reflexes...even advanced healing...my body somehow surges to create that power...

Now it's reacting to the ice...

My virgin body is reacting...calling out to that ice that stores my power...if Duran is to become what he once was, if he is to become my child...to become a product of love, of devotion for a most important person, if he is to symbolize what he did back then...my body must produce the means to care for him. I must become his mother...I don't know why I know this. I don't know why it seems so natural to cradle this baby in my arms after the ice is completely gone...I don't understand this, but he is Duran.

He is my child...

So, does that make him my son?

Did my longing to have him, my calling for him...did he somehow do this? Allow himself to become apart of my world again, although I was not awakened to summon him? I'm not quite sure...but if we really did put an end to all of the fighting, for good...Duran has no reason to stay sealed anymore...and...even if the fighting comes back, it won't be in this lifetime...in my lifetime. So, did he come for my sake? Did he come here for me, to take back his role, because I wanted it?

I missed him...

…

Natsuki sighed as she carried the peaceful infant that was sleeping in her arms. She was sopping wet, and so was he...the chilly night air didn't seem to bother him, though, she was huddled as tightly as she could to keep them both warm. It took her a while to get back to the city on foot, but she couldn't ride her motorcycle and carry him at the same time. A bus ride carried them most of the way...and in the late night hours...the only ones that seemed to join her were the homeless, or the drunks trying to get home.

It didn't phase her, and Duran kept as quiet as a church mouse...

The hustle of the city streets waned out, her ears couldn't pick up anything, as her eyes fell upon the baby in her arms. His cold body was like she always remembered, but, now he was not metal. He is a baby, of flesh and blood. His soft breath a reality never before assumed...never once questioned. Magic, some would call it. Impossible for others to understand. Natsuki's stare both blank, and lost within the truth in her arms.

There was a moment, only a brief one, when he'd opened his eyes, and Natsuki found that the baby shared her eye color. He fell back to sleep, and her already frazzled mind struggled with what to do next...she couldn't just go home...she couldn't do this by herself...and so, without any other way to deal with things, she let her emotions guide her to a place that she often visited. Her fist hit heavily on the door. Four knocks, in a pattern...it was to let Shizuru know who it was, without the woman having to answer.

And just like that...the door opened, a sleepy eyed Shizuru wearing her nightgown. "You're not going to believe this..." Natsuki said then and she stepped inside, showing Shizuru the infant. "It's Duran."

"What?" Shizuru asked lamely, looking at the naked infant that Natsuki had unwrapped from the wet pelt, grabbing a dry blanket to wrap him in. With crimson eyes now wide awake, she tried her best to see past what she thought to be a figment of her imagination. "What's going on here?" The child didn't look to be a newborn, but, it couldn't have been all that old either. She couldn't find an answer that appeased her, and this silver haired baby shared features that if Shizuru were to squint at, were not completely unlike Natsuki's own.

"It's Duran..." That was all Natsuki said as she looked at the baby now, resting in her lap, with one arm protecting him. "He came back."

The tawny haired woman needed to sit down, and fast. Her legs felt as if they could no longer hold her. "He can't be." Shizuru said slowly, putting an arm around her girlfriend. They'd been dating for a while now...getting used to the feel of being in love with each other...a love that was still very fragile and precious. Natsuki was only just now beginning to learn the all consuming meaning of such a thing. "Natsuki, honey look at me." Shizuru said then, seeing the confusion in emerald orbs. "It can't be Duran...that baby is not him." An infant would complicate matters...although, if it was Duran...that did prove Natsuki's feelings...it gave a more affirmative answer than anything else ever could.

"He came from ice, Shizuru." Natsuki said in a rush, shaking at that implication, as if it had finally hit her in the face. "My ice...Duran used it like a womb." It was a realization that was coupled with understanding. "That's why I feel like I'm a wreck..." She licked her lips, trying to breath deeply, but it was shallow...she was about to have a breakdown she didn't want. Her mind, now in the safety of her lover's embrace, was beginning to put the fractured pieces together.

"Okay...alright Natsuki." Shizuru said then, pulling the woman she loved into a hug. "It's alright, calm down."

It was too late though, as heated tears fell from her eyes. "That's gotta be Duran." All of the emotions of a HiME came rushing back. The dream made sense...a clarity in everything he'd warned her about...Duran had been planning this.

Just like that, the once quiet baby began to cry, shocking Natsuki completely off her guard...Shizuru watched this odd baby crying out, and out of instinct she picked him up, but his crying didn't ease. "You might have to feed him, Natsuki." She said softly. "If he's really yours..." Shizuru shook her head, trailing off. "Here, take off your shirt, and bra." Her instructions were soft, but she could see the wavering in emerald eyes. "Natsuki, now..." She implored, and finally, the woman began to do as she was told.

"This is ridiculous...no way in hell..." Her fingers tremble as she unzips her biking leathers, pulling her arms out of them with practiced ease, though she was the furthest thing from calm.

"Your shirt Hun, you can't feed him like that." Shizuru's eyes motion to the blue shirt Natsuki was wearing, her fingers already trying to work at the buttons. "How did this happen?"

"I don't know..." Natsuki growled, her voice stern from fear alone.

...  
(Natsuki POV)

My mind is trying to come up with an explanation, but all I can think of is this mineralization crap, and it makes sense I guess...but...I've never done this before. I took off my shirt, and threw it off to the side, and paused, realizing Shizuru's going to see me. I don't want her to, not like this...not when I'm so venerable...but I can't do this alone. I unhook my bra and slip it off my shoulders, expecting a gaze that never comes...there isn't even any perverse remarks slipping past her lips...I guess she realizes this isn't the time for that. She puts Duran in my arms gently, and helps me to guide him where he needs to go. He fights it at first, as if he's unsure...as unsure about this as I am.

It feels weird, sitting in front of Shizuru...with Duran...doing what he's doing...I really have changed for his needs, haven't I? They're a bit bigger...not a lot, I can still fit into my normal bra...but he really is...suckling...really is feeding from me...this is totally messed up.

He is a normal baby, isn't he?

Shizuru's rubbing my shoulders, trying to keep me from freaking out. I'm so nervous I'm trembling under her fingertips. Her cool gaze is looking at me with worry, but I can't help my shaking. Even as she rests her head on my bare back, she's murmuring sweet nothings that I can't quite hear. I feel lost...broken...and I just don't know what I'm going to do...why haven't the other ones come back too? Was Duran really doing this for me, or did he need me too? I don't know...

This might sound really twisted...but as freaked out as I am right now...I'm glad he's back...and I'm glad Shizuru's here for this...because if this really is Duran...he's going to need her too. This is so overwhelming. I never imagined anything like this. I never thought that I'd be breastfeeding a baby...but I am...and it scares me that I like it...that it seems right...like I should be doing this...

Duran...I don't know what lies ahead here for us...I can't say I have any idea if I'll be a good mom or not...so...don't hold it against me if I make a few mistakes along the way...okay? It'll be okay, Duran...I swear to you, it'll be okay.


End file.
